This post is from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. A book I long to read each morning.

It is impossible to praise or thank me too much. As it is written, I inhabit the praises of my people. Sometimes your adoration is a spontaneous overflow of Joy, in response to radiant beauty or rich blessings.

At other times your praise is more disciplined and measured-an act of your will. I dwell equally in both types of praise. Thankfulness, also, is a royal road to draw near Me. A thankful heart has plenty of room for Me.

When you thank me for the many pleasures I provide, you affirm that I am God, from whom all blessings flow. When adversity strikes you and you thank me anyway, your trust in My sovereignty is a showpiece in invisible realms.

Fill up the spare moments of your life with praise and thanksgiving. This joyous discipline will help you live in the intimacy of my presence.

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

All of our luggage was loaded in the back of the truck. Five of us were cramped in the front and it was stuffy. I kept peering at him in the back. He was keeping our luggage safe. Holding on as we climbed hills then back down again. When we reached the airport, it was a quick goodbye. I don’t think that my heart could handle anymore than that.

Lord, My work here is not finished.

I kept telling myself over and over. It was the only way I could get on that plane.

I cried a few times on the way home and then I just felt numb. My head was spinning. So many things to do but where do you start?

On your knees.

As soon as we arrived at Miami Airport, I turned on my phone and there it was.

Hello! Kouman nou ye? This is Ezechiel! You know I really can’t find words to explain my sadness, my sorrow and the empty space you leave in my heart from the time you enter the airport until now. You know, say that I love you won’t be enough., I’d rather say that I’ll keep catching you in my heart and on my mind. Say Hello and thanks to your family for me. Don’t forget telling them about the wonderful work that you have done in my country. May God keep blessing you forever.

I knew right then and there that I would be back. Soon. I did not know when or how. But I would be back to Haiti…my journey had just begun.

I have never stop to imagine or question if my children would receive an education, Ezechiel does. He has finished primary school but waits to start a University. He earnestly prays for an opportunity to become a Cardiologist. Visas to the United States have been denied and the expense of Medical School is overwhelming.

God, where do I start?

On your knees.

I am so grateful that God’s timing and plan is so much greater than my own. However, I struggle with patience. Don’t you?

Would you help and commit to praying for Ezechiel with me? Pray that God will provide an opportunity, a door or just a window.

Our God is so good.

I have been reading over my journals from Haiti. There is just so much to share, so many stories. Before I do that I want to introduce you to a few people who play a huge part of this journey.

First up, meet Jane.

This lady is exactly who I want to be when I grow up. She travels to Haiti several times a year and is loved and respected by so many there. We were able to stay at Jane’s house while we were there and I can’t form words to express the impact this dear woman has had on my life.

Paul, who was also a part of our trip, created this video. It is a perfect reflection of her. (Please click the link to watch)

Jane’s Children

Interested in having me photograph your family?

Dear Caleb,

I can’t believe you are 4 years old! It has truly been four wonderful years. You are such a sweet boy and you bring so much joy into our lives. Next year you will start BIG school and I just don’t think that I am ready for that.

This past year you became a big brother! You are so sweet to your sister. She watches you and learns so much from you. You are her biggest fan! I thank God everyday for blessing us with two sweet spirited children.

I pray everyday that you will seek God and one day call him your Savior. Your little spirit amazes us and your prayers to Jesus every night shows us that you already have an idea of what faith is like.

I hope you have a very Happy Birthday sweet boy!

Love,

Momma

Having your images printed then inviting your friends and family to come and look at them is a nerve racking thing! I had no idea that the morning before our first actual show that I would grow a large zit on my face and want to bury myself in a dark room and skip the whole thing.

Then I realized, it is not about me. It is not my story. It is their story.

Their story must be told.

A huge fist pump and pat on the rear to my partner in crime! Joy, I could not and would not have done this without you!

WHCC, you are the bomb! Thank you guys for your help with the prints!

And to our families, thank you for all your help with the kiddos and the goodies.

If you missed the first show….we are doing it again! Details below…

There are moments when you just have to walk away. Away from what is safe, comfortable and “normal”.

Walk away just for a moment. To evaluate.

What is necessary?

What can be thrown out?

What do I want to continue? Do I change the way I am doing something?

I know my limitations….but do I?

Am I capable of so much more?

Do I continue down the road of safe, comfortable and “normal”?

God is once again challenging me to seek a direction that is unusual. He is growing and testing my faith and I don’t want to forget what my heart is screaming at this moment. I am human, guilty of sin and falling short so many times. Yet, I serve a God who continues to use me. I just don’t understand and I am not always willing to be used. But yet He continues.

B has big dreams for this little kid. From the moment he entered this world, B knew that his life was forever changed. Caleb bring us so much joy and we were excited to take him for his first of many trips to Augusta National.

Any opportunity I get, I will share Jesus. Where ever I’m at and whatever I am doing I will share Jesus.

This was my mission and goal.

Then I boarded the plane to Haiti.

There he was. I saw him from a distance. The man I would share a seat with for the next 55 minutes.

My guard went up and I began to pray.

My Lord, I promised you that I would share Jesus where ever I’m at and whatever I am doing on this trip but protect me while I am on this flight. When I get there I will share Jesus.

Okay let me take a step back and set this up for you.

I am white. My neighbor in row 16 is black. Very black. Very big male and very black. Again I am white. And female and consider myself small compared to this man.

Throw your racist comments out of your mind because that is not where I am going here.

I was intimidated. Scared. He was speaking a language I could not understand.

Ok, Amber. You signed up to go to Haiti? What did you expect?

I know. I know.

But I am a wife, mother. I always have my guard up as a mother.

I sat gently in my seat and offered a quiet Hello.

55 minutes. I can do this.

After takeoff the flight attendant made her way through the plane to pass out immigration cards. To expedite the process once we were in Haiti, we needed to fill out the cards and have them on-hand when we arrived in Haiti.

As I began to fill out my form, He spoke to me. In very broken English.

“You help me? With Form?”

I nodded and continued to fill out my form. When I was done, he handed me his passport, his immigration form and a piece of paper.

Okay, so maybe I watch a little too much drama TV but here is where the crazy thoughts begin to enter my mind and my heart was pounding out of my chest.

My fingerprints are going to be on his passport.

He is probably part of a drug ring.

I am going to be arrested.

I will never see my family again.

This is it. I’m done. 

He spoke again and I though my heart was going to explode. “I….I no read”

What did he just say, “He can’t read?”

My heart began to slow down a bit but the thoughts continue to roll around in my head.

Get a grip, Amber. He just needs your help. He can’t read. You have no clue who he is. Just help him.

So, I filled out his form, told him that he needed to sign the bottom and I sat back straight in my seat.

He thanked me and after a few moments he quietly spoke again.

“You know Jesus?”

Excuse me?

“I knew when you sat. You know Jesus.”

YES, Yes I do.

“Thank you. You help me. I go back to my country two weeks then back to America 2 weeks. I come help my family.”

This is where I pick myself up off the floor and the walls around my heart began to crumble.

Here I am sitting on a flight to a country I have no clue about but willing to share the name of Jesus.

I danced on this plane with excitement and eager to serve but in one swift glance I brought my guard up and put my faith on the sidelines.

What happened to my faith? My trust? My willingness to share Jesus in all situations?

I knew that the Lord needed to teach me this lesson at the beginning of my trip. He needed me to have my heart ready for anything and everything that would happen in the next week.

And to realize that in Haiti, I am going to come in contact with A LOT of large, very black males who happened to be the most compassionate, God-fearing men I will ever meet in my life!

Charles promised to pray for me during my time in Haiti and I promised to pray for him. I told him that I wanted to remember this moment, so I took a picture with my phone.

Charles, where ever you are, Thank you. Thank you for teaching me never to put my faith on the sidelines.

Traveling to a foreign country brings one level of fear but when you add the fact that you are leaving a husband and 2 kids behind, it brings fear to a new level. But somehow I found comfort in that I was not alone. I had a friend with me. Someone who shared the same tug of leaving a husband and two kids behind.

My dear friend Joy. I know that you are going to drop kick me for posting this but I appreciate you and I am grateful for your friendship.

When we received the email about this trip from a friend at church, Joy was the first to email and say…”You wanna go?”

I brushed it off and gave my lame excuse. Of course, God had a different plan in mind.

You see, we really didn’t have a choice in whether or not we wanted to go…we were needed.

Our trip had the purpose of teaching photography, but there was no formal plan. This is where God knew that we were needed.

With our photography expertise, workshop background and help from my photog friend on Ohio, we created an outline. A formal plan that we knew may or may not work, but it was a plan and God was in control.

Emails flew back and forth, google translate became our BFF (not really but we are grateful for it) and in less than 2 weeks we were printed, spiral bound and prayed that the translation to Haitian Creole was correct.

We alternated days teaching to the children but we struggled with whether or not they were “getting it”. We both agreed after the second day when we thumbed through their images, we knew that the light bulb had gone off. They were “getting it” and we knew our work was paying off.

Each day brought a new level of excitement and love for this country. We fell in love with the children.

We went on an adventure across the lake and were treated with fresh coconuts.

We met historic icons…

Made life long friends

And watched in excitement as the students held their very own pictures. Something they will covet for the rest of their lives.

Joy, my friend. I am so glad we shared this experience together.

Thank you for laughing with me. I have never laughed so hard in a long time! For being gracious enough to let me pour cold rain water on your “hatching” head and educating me on THE Black Crowes! I know that this is only the beginning of the work we will do in Haiti. Together.